THERE IS NO PAIN LIKE IT! NO WAY TO DESCRIBE THE GUT WRENCHING, HEARTBREAKING GRIEF OF HOLDING YOUR LIFELESS CHILD.
April 9, 1990
Melissa was gently handed to me. She was handled by these caring nurses as though she was alive. I saw the saddness in their eyes. This was not easy for them.
I cradled her close to me, kissed her beautiful face. I laid her down on the bed and took the cap off of her head. She had so much black hair. I looked at her little body, her fingers, her toes. I begged her to open her eyes, to cry, to breathe. How could this be happening? Just a few hours ago she was kicking inside of me. My heart was breaking into a million pieces. I did not want to let her go.
Why did this happen to MY baby? What had I done in life so bad that I deserved this? My mind was swirling and I felt like I was going to pass out. I just wanted to grab Melissa and run far away. Time was going by so fast and it seemed like only seconds passed and the nurses told us they needed to take her. My world had collapsed, my sweet baby Melissa was dead and there was nothing I could do to change it. I was her mother, her protector and loved her more than anyone else in the world, but I could not save her life.
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